This week was pretty tough, but full of lessons for both Barton and I. Last week, Barton got sick (guy stuff) and it took several days before we found out what was really going on. While it could have been prevented, Barton has a tough time putting his needs first as he has learned survival mode & doesn’t want to be in the way nor does he want to ask for help- a level of stubborn independence we both share. Instead, toughing it out. But sometimes toughing it out isn’t what’s needed.
At the same time, it was the 9th anniversary of my mom’s death, and even though time has passed & I have come to terms with her death, I still miss her. I saw her push the limitations of her body beyond what they were capable of, and throughout my life, creativity brought expression to pushing those boundaries, through her vision, through her art, through our relationship of a mother and a daughter and the art we created together. I have so much admiration for that ability to push through, no matter what the circumstances. Yet, at other times we are called to be vigilant and gentler with our physical bodies.
In truth, how many of us put everyone else first until we become run down, exhausted, sick- unable to be present where we are or take care of what we need to do. I admit, I am guilty of this. I used to think I could do everything & there was a time where I was only sleeping 2-3 hours a night. How long could I sleep two hours a night and be effective the rest of the day? In truth, not long.
Creating boundaries has been a difficult lesson for both Barton & I, yet essential to keep our lives in balance. We’ve learned there are weekends we need to crash with a movie weekend, we need date nights out, we need to let the long list of things to get done drift out in the wind. When we come back to the work that needs to be done, we are better focused, motivated, and ready to roll.
After getting all over Barton about taking care of himself, I had to take a look in the mirror. The same day Barton finally called his doctor, I set up an appointment with my dermatologist who I haven’t seen in two years. I also renewed my membership at the pool, and swimming laps at 7am never felt so good.
It’s so hard to realize that we are precious- precious in the eyes. Whether it’s our child, partner/spouse, family member, friend, God/or whatever your spiritual definition is, you are precious in their eyes. They need you, they need you to be there. Each one of us has a purpose, a mission we are given to carry out, and if we can’t take care of ourselves, we can’t be there to carry out that purpose.
A challenge for the week- take one step everyday to nourish your body.