What does the new year hold in store for you?
This evening, our friend came over to help us hang a huge white dry erase board in the kitchen. As we begin a new year, it was time for a reminder; apparently we needed quite a large one.
I admit, last year I would come home [after getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning], we would eat dinner and I would crash on the sofa watch all the mainstream tv shows, one after another until I fell asleep. It would take Barton nearly an hour to wake me, drag me off the sofa and into bed.
The winter has been harsh with weeks of near record lows and multiple snows, and I’ve wanted to hibernate since November. Yet, there has been much to do, and much to look forward to this next year.
A few weeks before Christmas, I was feeling low, and in the morning conversation with Barton, we realized we needed an overhaul. The next day, and I know this may come as a shock, we disengaged from the television. Now we still have and watch movies, but I needed a break from the traditional outlet overload of information.
I realized that watching news shows, even the evening shows- was making me extremely anxious all of the time. Yes we know the economy is horrible- we are all living in it, yes we know the world is full of horrible people doing horrible things. And on some levels I can differentiate that from my own life. But I realized that I was absorbing anxiety, fear and despair, which was not what I needed to contribute to the creativity I rely on everyday.
Barton and I came up with a list of things that we would like to do instead, both in the morning and the evening. It’s a fairly simple list, and includes both items we wanted to do individually as well as together.
We rearranged our day and spent the morning coming up not only with a new daily schedule, but also new goals for the year. What had we accomplished in 2010? How far we had come as a couple and in our own personal development. What are places where we still need some work? Financial sustainability, a family. We had fun dreaming up plans, nothing was off limits.
And I realized how important it was not only to be giving ideas, but to hear Barton plan and dream about our lives together as well.
Since then, we’ve both looked back at the board- it’s a reminder as to keep us on track. Now there have been times where I’ve kept a list that was nearly impossible to keep, so here, instead of feeling like we have to do everything, we try to fit as much as we can in the day, but let go of the rest.
Even in the week since the holidays, we’ve felt refreshed at the times spent together and working on other things in the morning and evening times. I have felt my concentration return to my creativity, and the uncontrollable fear has subsided into something more manageable. We’ve met at a local coffee shop- completely dismantled our manuscript and began writing again, together. How much fun the work became.
What dreams and goals do you have for the new year? Take out a scratch piece of paper, computer file, dry-erase board, collage, whatever fits your style- and create your vision for the year.
I have read two of your blogs and also Barton’s… Since I also have CP, I personally enjoy reading Barton’s. One thing I have learned about marriage is that evenings are about a couple. Reading your blogs about Barton having to wake yup up each time from the sofa makes me wonder why you even married him. If my husband HAD to fight for my attention for an hour, our marriage would have been anulled.
My husband and I feel that Barton deserves to have better from his marriage. You complained about shoveling snow. Well, one year on my birthday, I shoveled snow just to be with my husband. You write in a way that makes us feel that Barton is an inconvenience to your pampered luxurious lifestyle.
Thank you for your comments. It saddens me, however that you seem to have missed the point of Megan’s post. We both work extremely hard on our marriage as well as in our work partnership. Our time together is filled with love, laughter and deep connection. We support one another fully, even during the times when we struggle in our human imperfection. Our mutual design for this blog has been a place for us to share our unique perspective on life, as well as the intricacies that all people share when they engage in a relationship. Both of us see this as a venue to build community and enhance respectful connections with others, not as a place for unfounded judgment or personal attack.
-BC
Megan is the most sweet, upbeat, hardworking person I know. If she is falling asleep on the couch, it is because she worked her butt off all day. Barton and Megan both love and appreciate each other for what they bring to the table.