What is the balance between sustainability and service?
This is a question we have been working through the last few years. When we published our memoir, Ink in the Wheels: Stories to Make Love Roll, our vision and service was clear: to help families, individuals and children impacted by disability to become sustainable and independent in their lives, and to break down barriers of attitude around disabilities and relationships.
Speaking at our book release has been one of the highlights of our lives together!
We received so much publicity, and we were able to travel, speak at conferences, talk to parents, and support others in many ways. People could see the tangible love between us, and they were moved by our story. We had dreams of being motivational speakers (we still do), living this dream of traveling, speaking and writing.
The service of our writing did its job everywhere we went and for everyone we spoke to; being a part of this experience creating this kind of impact was phenomenal. We immersed ourselves in living our dreams.
Yet, we could not justify the travel and extraneous costs of speaking without the expected return. Even though we had made an attitudal and motivational impact, after one conference where we had spend $1,000 on traveling, hotel and food, without compensation for our speaking, it was difficult to justify the expense. Especially when we came home to conversations about how we would pay the mortgage that month.
Not only that, but the writing and coaching contracts that had been sustaining us were being constricted by state-wide budget cuts and changing political structures. In August, after not one but three contracts on Barton’s side were cut, one in which the entire Marketing Department was pulled, our conversations turned to a more serious tone.
We could not sustain our lives.
Overnight we were thrust into a world of cleaning house. We combed our budget and cut out everything that was unnecessary, and some things that were necessary. We pieced together what we had to make the monthly budget work, and admittedly freaked out about some of the upcoming overages. We looked at the gas budget and determined how far we could drive each week. And we even talked about the possibility of moving, if we needed to take more drastic measures.
Just as quickly as this wave of fear, hardship, and panic came in, it receded. And with it came a clean house, shifting dreams, conversations, and new possibilities.
I am excited to say that I stepped into a full-time position, which I absolutely love and am so excited to have found the experience of feeling valued in my work. Currently, there is a national and global debate about the value of work for people with disabilities with challenges of raising the minimum wage and closing workshops, unpaid opportunities for people with disabilities. Certainly, as a freelance or contractual writers, much of our time was spent justifying the value of our work. In this new space of professional engagement, I feel energized, focused, valued, and supported, all important aspects of fulfilling work.
And in the same week that Barton’s marketing contract was cut, he received a full scholarship for CTI’s Coaching Certification Program and he is now working with them to create an inclusive program for certification. We had to say no to some possibilities that we had fought so hard for, and many things that we had left hanging. The process was thrilling in one aspect, and yet so difficult in another.
Through it all, we always came back to the balance between sustainability and service. Without service, vision and dreams, we wander aimlessly without a purpose. Without sustainability, one cannot survive. We have been dangerously dangling on the edge of sustainability for a long time, fighting for our dreams.
And we had to take a step back: how can we talk about independence for people with disabilities if we don’t find independence for ourselves? What message does that send to our community that we have worked so hard to support and work with?
Living in the balance of service and sustainability is freeing!
Not only that, but there is this sense of struggling that we wanted to shake off. For so long, things have felt so hard. While the process of purchasing an accessible van was thrilling, it was over a year of hard, dedicated work, anxiety, and perseverence. Overcoming challenges is a theme we speak about often to those impacted by disability. It seems like everywhere we turn, there is a barrier. But what if life wasn’t like that? What if it could happen easily and smoothly, without all of the anxiety, pushing, and trying to make something happen?
And, we looked at the focus for 2015, asking ourselves, “What pieces do we need to bring back together in order to live out what we envision in our lives? What are the next steps?”
While we still have writing, traveling, speaking, and coaching at the top of our list, we also have getting rid of debt, adoption (the finances is the only thing holding us back), and looking at how we support ourselves as we grow old as areas of emphasis- can you believe our 10-year anniversary is just one month away?? We can’t!
Slowly we are putting the pieces together to see how we can do these things that we love and be sustainable at the same time, finding that balance point in the middle, with the flexibility of sliding this way or that way when we needed.
Where is the balance point in your life?
If you need that extra support finding your balance point, check out our new website at Cutter’s Edge Consulting, and contact us to schedule a coaching strategy session!
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